Sheila From North London

Sheila from North London doesn’t know what to do…


Dear Nellie Cat

This isn’t really a kitty problem, but my downfall came when I took our two female Burmese kittens Pebbles and Petunia to the vets for their first inoculations. I am a cat owner, so I don’t feel too guilty in writing to you. Please believe that I’m desperate Nellie.

I left the house early so that I would have time to stop off at the vets to leave Pebbles and Petunia in their care before continuing to my work. I arranged to collect them later in the afternoon on my way home. As usual, I left my husband in the house watching the TV, he’s been out of work for the last four months since losing his job as a security guard.

After I left the house I hadn’t driven more than a mile when the engine suddenly died and my car shuddered to a halt. I tried to fix the car with what little knowledge I have, in the end I had no option but to leave our dear little kittens on the rear seat in their pet carrier whilst I walked the short distance home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I was in for a terrible shock, my husband was in a passionate embrace with our neighbour’s daughter.

I am 34, my husband is 36, and our neighbour’s daughter is 19. We have been married for ten years…

When I confronted my husband he broke down and admitted they had been seeing each other for the past two months. I demanded that he stop or I would leave him, but he told me that he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless since he lost his job. I love him dearly, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won’t go to counselling and I’m afraid I can’t get through to him anymore. I didn’t know he was unhappy, I keep the house clean and tidy and prepare the meals just the way he likes. He always has clean, ironed clothes and we go out quite regularly to concerts or for a meal. I though our life was almost perfect.

If he leaves me for her I won’t be able to look after our two young children and keep up my job. She is so much younger and more attractive than me, I feel I can’t compete with her and, although I keep in shape, having had two children my body is not what it once was. I don’t know what to do Nellie.

Just to reassure you Pebbles and Petunia were fine whilst I left them in the car. I called my best friend who lives across the road and together we collected them before taking them safely to the vets.

Sheila, North London. August 2020


Dear Sheila.

Oh dear! Pebbles an’ Petunia really did go through it didn’t they. Have they been affected by you leaving them alone in your car? Kitties are sensitive to these things you know, especially if there’s a dodgy engine or those horrible fumes involved.

Look, me an’ my Mexican angels have given this a great deal of thought an’ we’ve even asked an expert, Johnny Cat, who’s always skulking underneath cars an’ car bonnets. We everyone of us think a car conking out after being driven such a short distance is a shocking experience that can be caused by all sorts of faults with the engine. It’s always difficult to know where to start, but why don’t you check there’s no dirt in the fuel line? If the fuel line is clear then check the vacuum pipes an’ hoses on the intake manifold, then also check all the grounding cables. If none of these things solves the problem it could be the fuel pump itself is faulty – this would cause low delivery pressure of your fuel to the injectors an’ explain why you didn’t make it to that veterinary.

I do hope this helps Sheila. As for that other stuff you mention that’s all easily solvable isn’t it? When you’re certain your car is fixed an’ isn’t gonna let you down again, just pack your husband’s bags, load the car an’ give him the keys. Give him a kick up his ass on his way out. Nineteen, for Christ sake! Just when you’re starting to get wrinkles an’ all that.

I’m no stranger to heartbreak myself you know, boy have I been through it. I was kidnapped in the middle of the night, did you know this? But it’s all about how you pick yourself up then start running around the proverbial track of life. I’m also gonna send you a copy of my favourite book, it’s called ‘Who Moved My Cheese’.

Read it an’ your life’s gonna change sweetheart.

Nellie The Ship’s Cat

August 2020

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