Two down and three to go, can you help save these desperate little Moggies…?
We’re writing to you because we’re so desperate, I’m the spokesperson-cat for my two little sisters, two brothers and me. My name is Nibbles, I’m slightly the oldest of we five kittens and we heard about you from one of the farmyard cats up at the farm.
The terrible news is there’s only three of us now, we live on a sheep farm in Cumbria and lost our mom in a tractor accident a few weeks by. Now we are left to fend for ourselves. The old farmer here put us in a cardboard box then stuck us in his barn, saying we would have to look after ourselves. He told us he was way too busy with all the sheep on his farm. The farmer brings us food now and then, then we got suckled a day or two by another mom, though she left coz she was only passing through. The other two farmyard cats here bring us a mouse sometimes, not very often but by sticking together we just about get by.
Our problem Nellie, is foxes. There’s a gang of foxes up by the culvert there and they’ve got a nose on us, knowing we’re all helpless living here in our cardboard box….
I said to you before we were five, now we are only three. Little Runny Nose got took first, he’s the one on the far left in the picture, he and I got along just fine. I miss him terribly so much, we would play all day together in the hay barn until we got all exhausted, then we would go to find our mom. It all then happened only two weeks ago, Runny Nose tried ever so hard to defend us that dark rainy night, but he was way too little to fight off those two foxes and he got took.
Only five nights later the foxes came back, it was thundering and lightening and we heard them coming through the loose planking in the crumbling back wall. There’s a hole low down near floor, right by the old rusting hay-cutter and those foxes came right through just there. We huddled together all frightened and shivering knowing they would come, sure enough they knew straightaway where we were. We all four leaped out of our cardboard box to run for the barn door, but little Floppy Ears, she’s the one second from right in the picture, she was too slow with her gammy leg and the horrible foxes, they got her.
I’m in the middle of the picture Nellie, now there’s only Tell Tale, Spoogle and me. We’re desperate for some Kind Old Lady to help us coz the farmer here isn’t too concerned, he says he loses sheep every day to ‘them bastard foxes’ and sheep are the ones that puts food on his table. Sure, we might survive to become farmyard cats but those horrid foxes are sniffing around all the time, knowing we’re all three so helpless and shaking with shivering fear.
Can you help us Nellie? Can you find some Kind Old Lady who will take us all three? We’d like to stay together if we can coz we’ve suffered so much, but if we can’t then somehow we will find a way to get by.
Nibbles, Top Peak Farm, Cumbria. August 2020
This is the most awfulest cat story I’ve heard in nearly two weeks. We’re swinging into action here Nibbles, don’t you worry about that, we’re trying to find loads of Kind Old Ladies as we speak. I feel so helpless stuck here on this stinking ship way down in Mexico, your pain reminds me so much of that black stormy night I myself got kidnapped.
But we got contacts back there in England. Our friendly veterinary Mildred knows another veterinary, who knows a veterinary who’s cousins get involved in cat rescue, it’s a bit like those SWAT teams but a little bit different. We’re sure gonna get you outta there before those foxes get a nose on you again.
While we gettin’ all this together, ain’t there a sheepdog around someplace who can just help you out? I mean, they’re miserable old gits sometimes but some of em ain’t too bad. Promise the dog something nice, dogs are suckers for stuff like that, or you could even learn to do that sheepdog whistle. If all three of you could learn to do this for a short time to get a pesky sheepdog around on your side, then those dirty foxes just aren’t gonna hang around.
Nibbles – if those foxes do come back before we get to you then you gotta tell us, finding a Kind Old Lady to take two cats is a bit easier than taking three.
Note to you Kind Old Ladies out there
If you’re a Kind Old Lady then we need you NOW. You’ve normally gotta have grey hair but it’s not vital in these horrible circumstances, a blue-rinse will do. On the Kind Old Lady Scale you’ve gotta rate HIGH. if you’re over ninety then it’s even better but there ain’t so many of you old folk around anymore with numbers like that. If you’re a little younger without grey hair then please write in an’ we’ll consider you.
But you greyheads gotta ACT NOW. These three little kittens ain’t gonna last much longer with those foxes around an’ me an’ my Mexican angels want to get things moving. If you’ve ever been threatened by foxes then you’ll know just how bad this is.
Look ladies, we know you’re out there sitting around doing your knitting an’ watching daytime TV, but you’ve now got the chance to make something of yourself an’ rescue three desperate little kitties. From the very first day you’ll feel so much younger an’ far more blessed.
We’re even gonna discount our Kind Old Ladies Kitty Finders Fee – you know, knock a little bit off the top. Don’t widen those eyes of yours now, we gotta eat too you know an’ I gotta get back to England.
If you wanna get on our SWAT team that’s gonna be heading up to Top Peak Farm, then just tell us straightaway in those comment boxes below. Me or one of my angels will get back to you with dress code an’ an application form from Mildred, but you gotta have proof you’re a Kind Old Lady though. If you’ve got good numbers then why not tell the whole world about it?
C’mon all you ageing greys, ACT NOW!
Save those three little kitties at Top Peak Farm. It’s one of those races against time.
Nellie The Ship’s Cat
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