The Feline Agony Aunt
Nellie the Cat’s Feline Problem Page
In my short life as a Ship’s Cat I’ve learned loads. I learned the only way back to England was for me to get famous, I probably know more about life at sea than just about any cat alive and lots more besides. My sisters too know everything that’s worth knowing so if you’re a kitty with a personal problem then tell me about it.
Me and my sisters started giving feline advice some time ago when we realised there was a gap in the market. In that time we’ve helped loads of cats get over their emotional issues and sometimes we’ve even won awards. So now we’ve got a little sideline show going and the success signs are pretty good. What we tell you might not seem right at first but as things work out then you’ll know that you came to the best place for cat advice.
And now we’ve been joined by our friendly veterinary Mildred. She’s a bit weird and might not be a real veterinary but who cares. Mildred knows a thing or two about fixing up a kitty who’s in bad shape, so if you’re a cat or a cat owner who needs caring veterinary advice that might not always seem appropriate to begin with but when you’re soon hopping around like a little cuddly kitten you’ll realise that Mildred knows her stuff… she’s even got those paper certificate things hanging on her wall.
If you wanna to keep things personal just between the two of us then you’ve gotta put your hand in your pocket and dig out a bit of cash… after all I’ve gotta eat too just like anyone else and I need to build up my Escape Fund to someday get back to England. I’ve got personal problems too you know.
If what you’ve gotta say can be spread around for any old kitty or their owners to read then we’ll give you real good advice for free… but I’m gonna pass on your hard luck story to those who are simply begging me to tell them other cat’s secrets. It’s a tough world out there and we cats need to survive.
First of all I’ve gotta know one or two things about you. Please tell me your situation truthfully because it’s a physiological test to prove that you really are a cat and not someone just trying your luck, we often get veterinaries sneaking around trying to find out things. Me and my sisters will try to respond quickly if we can but sometimes we have other things on our plate, we might not be there just for you.
Please be patient, the best feline advice takes some thinking about and I need to get over some emotional barriers myself you know.
If you’re a kitty or even a cat owner with personal issues, you can contact the only Feline Emotional Problem Solving Service that we know of by clicking the ‘Please Help Me’ button below… me or one of my sisters will then reach out to you, be there and get things moving.
Nellie The Cat’s Feline Problem Page
If you wanna read about other cat’s feline secrets and gorge yourself on cat gossip then you can Go to my Feline Agony Aunt Page. It’s free for the most part but the really emotional or juicy stuff might cost you just a little bit, not much tho coz we cats aren’t rolling in it.
Some of these personal stories are well worth reading, in fact there’s hours of mind-boggling things to think about and you wouldn’t believe how bad some cat’s lives are. And me and my sisters have solved loads of feline problems, cat’s lives are so much better for talking to me… I’ve even been told I’m an angel from heaven.
If you receive some advice from me or my sisters that ain’t specifically private then it’s gonna make its way onto this page… every other cat or cat owner can add their little bit too. Or maybe you just wanna be nosey. Go to my Feline Agony Aunt Page.
Seriously, it’s dead good reading… here’s just some of my Agony Aunt stuff so far…
Mollie the Moggy from Moss Side in Manchester – July 2018
Duke & Daisy’s Bengal Misery – July 2018
Hammie’s Crinkly Carrots – August 2018
Sheila’s Mechanical Heartbreak – August 2018
Barney Got A Bad Name For Gossip – August 2018
Deadly Danger Up At Top Peak Farm – August 2018
How Long Has He Got? – August 2013
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