The Ship’s Cat

Feline Agony Angels

Hey! It’s Me, It’s Nellie, I’m back… — 2021-05-03

Hey! It’s Me, It’s Nellie, I’m back…

Do you have a problem that needs fixin’…?

Dear All

You gotta remember me, the ship’s cat, I tried to escape from my ship back to England. Do you remember how I had a terrible time bein’ kidnapped? When I was whisked away in the middle of the night, when the storm was all thunder an’ lightening with windows rattling, an’ people outside screamin’, when I was stolen from my mom in England an’ smuggled to that terrible ship in Mexico. Now I’m on the run, I’ve got to know loads of those Mexican harbour an’ dustbin cats.

Me an’ my new Mexican friends, we spotted one of those gaps in the market, now we’re agony angels sorting cat’s everyday problems an’ poor owners who have no one to turn to. Like I already told you, it wasn’t easy bein’ a ship’s cat, the food was crap, I don’t like catchin’ ship’s vermin an’ I don’t get paid no wages.

I want to get back to England to find my mom, an’ bein’ a cat’s angel is the best way to do it…

Continue reading
Everyone Makes Fun of Me — 2021-05-02

Everyone Makes Fun of Me

I’m an ugly cat with no one to turn to…

Dear Nellie Cat

Well, look at my picture, what do you think? I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking the same as all those other cats, you’re thinking, jeez, what an ugly cat, she’s got no fur. Even owners gape and won’t stroke me. Dearest Nellie, I hope you can help me, I’m at my wits end, I’ve got no friends and I get cold.

I heard about you and your agony angels from the dustbin cat, she stayed behind when I got bullied down by the bins. I only went there to see if I could make a friend. The usual thing happened – I tried my best to talk and join in, but when all those cats saw me they started laughing and rolling on the floor, you know, those loud bellyache laughs that get to you and make you cry.

I cried lots Nellie, lots and lots, but only when those horrible cats couldn’t see me cry…

Continue reading
Deadly Danger Up At Top Peak Farm — 2020-09-16

Deadly Danger Up At Top Peak Farm

Nellie Top Peak Farm

Two down and three to go, can you help save these desperate little Moggies…?

Dear Nellie Cat

We’re writing to you because we’re so desperate, I’m the spokesperson-cat for my two little sisters, two brothers and me. My name is Nibbles, I’m slightly the oldest of we five kittens and we heard about you from one of the farmyard cats up at the farm.

The terrible news is there’s only three of us now, we live on a sheep farm in Cumbria and lost our mom in a tractor accident a few weeks by. Now we are left to fend for ourselves. The old farmer here put us in a cardboard box then stuck us in his barn, saying we would have to look after ourselves. He told us he was way too busy with all the sheep on his farm. The farmer brings us food now and then, then we got suckled a day or two by another mom, though she left coz she was only passing through. The other two farmyard cats here bring us a mouse sometimes, not very often but by sticking together we just about get by.

Our problem Nellie, is foxes. There’s a gang of foxes up by the culvert there and they’ve got a nose on us, knowing we’re all helpless living here in our cardboard box….

Continue reading
The Eye-Candy Veterinary & My Pretty Lady… — 2020-09-06

The Eye-Candy Veterinary & My Pretty Lady…

Anonymous of Nottingham wants to play Cupid…

Dear Nellie Cat

Please listen, I’ve got a worrying problem. I just hope you and your spiritual sisters from other misters can help.

I had one of those rough starts in life, I ended up in the orphanage with LOADS of other cats. Then one special day I’ll always remember, a really pretty lady came along to cast her eye over all of us and, even though I’d heard of cats being adopted and getting a better life, I wasn’t hopeful it would ever be me. If I can be perfectly honest with you Nellie – I’m one of those cats who carry a little bit of extra weight.

Anyway, I couldn’t believe my luck when the pretty lady picked me out of all the other cats, right now I’m like a pig in clover – so what’s my problem I hear you saying…?

Continue reading
How Long Has He Got? — 2020-08-30

How Long Has He Got?


Dawn from Northern Ireland is worried about Baranoff…

Dear Nellie Cat

My apologies for this rather stupid question, but this thing has been bothering me since I got back from my visit to the veterinary late last week. My Russian Blue, Baranoff, is fourteen years old now and we’ve found out he’s suffering from Inflammatory Bowel Disease, which means he needs to be given daily doses of Corticosteroids which the vet has now prescribed. But getting Baranoff to take the medication has not been easy, so the vet showed me a way to pound the medicine into flavour tabs by adding pieces of salmon. So far it works!

But my problem is this Nellie. I’m beside myself with worry, I’ve not slept a wink for the past few nights. The vet went to great lengths to explain that Baranoff would need to take the Corticosteroid medication daily for the rest of his life, but then gave me only two weeks worth of supply.

Does this mean that Baranoff has only two weeks to live?

Dawn, Belfast, Northern Ireland

Continue reading