The Ship’s Cat

Feline Agony Angels

Hey! It’s Me, It’s Nellie, I’m back… — 2021-05-03

Hey! It’s Me, It’s Nellie, I’m back…

Do you have a problem that needs fixin’…?

Dear All

You gotta remember me, the ship’s cat, I tried to escape from my ship back to England. Do you remember how I had a terrible time bein’ kidnapped? When I was whisked away in the middle of the night, when the storm was all thunder an’ lightening with windows rattling, an’ people outside screamin’, when I was stolen from my mom in England an’ smuggled to that terrible ship in Mexico. Now I’m on the run, I’ve got to know loads of those Mexican harbour an’ dustbin cats.

Me an’ my new Mexican friends, we spotted one of those gaps in the market, now we’re agony angels sorting cat’s everyday problems an’ poor owners who have no one to turn to. Like I already told you, it wasn’t easy bein’ a ship’s cat, the food was crap, I don’t like catchin’ ship’s vermin an’ I don’t get paid no wages.

I want to get back to England to find my mom, an’ bein’ a cat’s angel is the best way to do it…

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So I Got Myself A New Job… — 2018-09-16

So I Got Myself A New Job…

How me an’ my friends became incredible Feline Angels…

Did you know I tried to find myself a good London lawyer, one who could help me get paid some wages? Well, I found one who said she wouldn’t rescue me, but would legally advise me. Then my friend, the Mexican dustbin cat, told me to be careful, he said I’d get something called a bill, he said it could even be a rich London lawyer’s bill.

So my new London lady lawyer, who is rich an’ simply adores me, said the way words are written in my cat contract are quite important – then she said I’d been tricked, as well as kidnapped, she said that ship’s cats don’t have any rights. Nothing! No proper rights at all! How’s that for injustice eh?

I got all upset an’ started crying, my Mexican friend consoled me saying now was a good time for me to think about having his kittens…

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I Need A Good Lawyer… — 2018-07-21

I Need A Good Lawyer…

I’ve got a small employment problem…

Do you know a good lawyer?

Mexican cats make adorable friends. I’ve met one, he’s a handsome cat, he lives near the dustbins. He knows loads, he tells me I’m bein’ robbed, that I should get myself a lawyer. I like him a lot, he tells me that one day he wants me to have his kittens, he’s all the time going on about that. My Mexican friend tells me lots of other things too – like, I should be paid the national minimum wage, an’ he thinks I’m being treated like a slave.

Did you know there’s a minimum wage here in Mexico an’ it’s eighty-eight Pesos a day? I didn’t know this until my adorable Mexican friend told me. I didn’t even know there was such a thing as a national minimum wage or even what a national minimum wage is. An’ NOW I’ve found out that, back there in England, the national minimum wage for a cat is three pounds an’ seventy an hour. Do you believe this? Did you know this? Me, on this ship, I don’t get paid any wages.

I don’t get paid nothin’, nothin’ at all, I have to work all day an’ every day just to get my terrible food.

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