Nellie The Ship’s Cat

The Feline Agony Aunt

So I Got Myself A New Job… — 2018-09-16

So I Got Myself A New Job…

How Me and My Team Became Incredible Feline Angels

Did you know that I tried to find myself a good London lawyer, one who could help me get paid some wages? Well, I found one who said she wouldn’t rescue me, but would legally advise me. Then my friend the Mexican dustbin cat told me to be very careful, he said I’d get something called a bill, he said it could even be a rich London lawyer’s bill.

So my new London lady lawyer, who is rich and simply adores me, said the way words were written in my Ship’s Cat job-description contract was quite important, then she said I’d been tricked, she said that under Maritime Law ship’s cats don’t have any rights. Nothing! No proper rights at all! How’s that for injustice eh?

I got all upset and started crying, my Mexican friend consoled me saying now was a good time for me to think about having his kittens…

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How To Smuggle Your English Cat Into Mexico… — 2018-07-12

How To Smuggle Your English Cat Into Mexico…

“Why bring a cat all the way from England,” the Mexican Customs & Immigration guy asked, “there’s already ten million cats in Mexico to choose from.” I explained that Mexican cats could only speak Mexican… which would be of no use to us at all because we only spoke English. He nodded and excepted my explanation before waving us away, worryingly unconcerned. Dave.

I can’t remember who made the original decision, I think it was me. It must have been me if I think about it now, because I suggested to both Marie and Henry that we should have a ship’s cat, one that was grey to match the colour decor of our boat. It was a joke of course, I never expected either of them to take it seriously… but you should never make jokes like that around a pair of dedicated cat lovers.

Almost immediately I was inundated with internet links to cuddly little grey kittens. Dozens of them from all around the UK, from Inverness in Scotland to someplace I’d never heard of way off in Cornwall. Before I could say ‘Yikes, here comes Officer Dibble’ both Marie and Henry singled out a really cute looking male down in Ramsgate, a harbour town on the south coast of England… a very nice little sea port but quite a long distance to travel. Henry argued that with Ramsgate being a harbour and close to the sea any cat from there would already have its sea legs, which was a vague argument in which I did see some logic. Marie disagreed entirely, but she just wanted to cuddle a little grey kitten sitting on her lap.

So off we travelled down to Ramsgate… just to take a look of course because I already knew this was a really stupid idea…

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Nellie the Cat, Now Inducted Into Ship’s Crew… — 2018-07-02

Nellie the Cat, Now Inducted Into Ship’s Crew…

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“It took a while to find her but there she was hiding under the dinghy. We had to drag her out by her tail to sign the papers but right now she’s legal, Nellie is now officially the ship’s cat. She’s complained about one or two things but nothing we can’t deal with and, despite what she tells you, Nellie’s been given her proper rights under international maritime law. She’s gonna be on the night watch most of the time in charge of vermin and stuff like that, she’s not being overly friendly just now but even so, all the signs are looking good.” Dave

Nelly Nelson, Nellie for short, is now all official and legal. We had some explaining to do on the documents about why she was first called Nelson, but when we took Nelson there for the snip the veterinary said it might be best if we called her Nellie. That might not seem important but she needs her own passport and stuff like that.

Nellie has been properly and correctly inducted into the ship’s crew. She’s filed complaints about a couple of things, about being abducted and forced against her will, being press-ganged when nowadays that’s not legal but we’re dealing with all of that. She eats her fill every day so things aren’t that bad.

Now that she’s crew she’s got her own crew list profile, even though she’s a cat it keeps things legal. You can check this out if you want to, especially if you’re one of those cat people.

But don’t you be fooled now…

Dave, Skipper Sailing Vessel Sänna

Read Nellie’s Crew Profile >


Nellie the Cat now has her own Facebook Page. Please Like and Share her page, it will help to grow her list of fans.