My name is Herminia and I’m a ship’s cat. But I have a little more up-breeding than both Nellie Cat and Wosita because my ship is a big cruise ship that only takes passengers who are rich. So you see, I’m what you might consider a more posh cat.

The biggest problem I have at the moment is my cruise ship left without me. I know it was a simple mistake the captain made but I have been waiting for two years now – most days I sit on the breakwater in the port of Cabos looking out for them, they must be trying really hard to get back for me but unfortunately they have a thing called itineraries.

Because I have so much time on my hands I suggested to Nellie Cat that I would make a very good Feline Etiquette Expert, mainly because of my experience with more monied people and their simply adorable cats who know how to present. You don’t get alley cats and dustbin cats on expensive cruise liners, it just doesn’t happen.

I am slowly getting used to working with Nellie Cat and Wosinda but the friendly veterinary Mildred concerns me, she has no manners and I am not even sure she’s even a real veterinary. She is all the time sticking needles into the three of us for what she says is ‘practice’ but she does have some certificates on her wall… though there’s strange alterations and rubbing out on some of them. Mildred doesn’t fool me.

So if you have a kitty problem that needs a better standard of advice then it will probably come from me, my sophisticated Nicaraguan royalty roots have never ever let me down. If you need to know the right way to do things then just listen to wot I say.

Herminia The Ships Cat.

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