And I know all your secrets…

My first time name was Nelson – it got changed when I went to the veterinary. Then I got kidnapped an’ taken from my mom when I was just a little kitty. I got smuggled to Mexico to be the ship’s cat, it’s an English ship – it’s sailing around the world with me on it. I’m supposed to catch vermin and things like that, but I’m on strike coz I don’t get paid wages.

When I was on strike, I spotted a gap in the market. I’ve got this special skill for giving cat advice, an’ I’m gonna make myself a rich cat. I ain’t made no money yet but when I’ve got ten quid I can make my own way to England.

When I saw that gap in the market I got myself a cat team together, coz that’s the best way to be there for you. First I met Wosita, an’ then Herminia. They’re just like me, they have this special cat-knowledge skill you don’t often see in cats – plus they were both starving an’ needed my help.

Then we found our friendly veterinary Mildred, she was unconscious on the sidewalk. We think she’d been drinking something to make her fall over. She woke up suddenly, thinking we’d saved her life, she said she’s an experienced veterinary but we don’t know what Mildred means, she ain’t got no certificates nor her name in letters. Anyway, she’s cute an’ we like her.

So, any cat advice you might want you can get it from us. We each of us got a special skill on that spectrum thing, so we’ve got you well covered. An’ if it’s medical stuff, then we’ve got Mildred.

Nellie, The Ships Cat.

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No cats were harmed when I made this website. An’ please think of the environment, it’s the only one we got! An’ don’t use those electronic cat-scarers in your garden.