The Ship’s Cat

Feline Agony Angels

King Murray’s Not A Happy Murray — 2021-06-16

King Murray’s Not A Happy Murray

The Ship’s Cat - King Murray


There’s trouble on the street – Might There be a lynching...?

Dear Nellie Cat

You can fix this Nellie, I’m counting’ on you. You know me, I’m a reasonable cat, I just wanna be king, king of my street. I’ve worked hard all my life to be king, but it’s that damn cat Scratchy.

I don’t never cause no trouble, you know that, an’ I don’t expect no trouble back. I get to go thru all the doors on my street coz every owner knows who I am, I’m Murray, king of my street, I’m King Murray. Someone’s gotta be king an’ I’m easily the best cat to do it. That Scatchy, he’s no king, he just wants to be king when he’s got no right to be king. What makes him think he can be king when he don’t even look like a king, he ain’t got the walk an’ he can’t talk the talk. He ain’t no king an’ I don’t wan’ him to be king. There’s some cat talk on the street of a lynchin’, a hangin’, an’ that lynchin’ might be me Nellie.

I need your help Nellie, will you help me stay king? Will you help me be king and always be king? Can you help me hide from that Scratchy…?

King Murray

The Midlands, June 2021

Continue reading
Siamese! She Knows Everything — 2021-05-10

Siamese! She Knows Everything

Siamese The Ships Cat

One more sense makes Shabby one sensible Cat…

Dearest Nellie Cat

Ten-thousand years it’s taken us Siamese to hone our feline instincts Nellie, now we are forever using our six senses to help poor owners who only have five. Our sixth sense might be good for spotting which owners are a soft touch and which ones are dog lovers, but every Siamese will tell you how tiring it is keeping all six senses together while still finding time to sleep our eighteen hours. We do our best Nellie, but with owners having five and those stupid dogs three, it can be back-breaking work making sure we’re loved and adored by Kind Old Ladies.

Every cat I talk to nowadays complains about how hard it is to find a Kind Old Lady. It’s the topic of every cat conversation, just like owners who bang on about the weather. Cats bemoan this sixth sense challenge as tho it was a chore deliberately sent from dog alley, sixth sense this and six sense that, dog this and puppy that, lots of dispirited downhearted Siamese I know talk about nothing else.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking why is this Siamese beefing about how hard it is to use all six senses. The thing is Nellie, my reason for writing to you, is that I have seven.

Continue reading
Everyone Makes Fun of Me — 2021-05-02

Everyone Makes Fun of Me

I’m an ugly cat with no one to turn to…

Dear Nellie Cat

Well, look at my picture, what do you think? I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking the same as all those other cats, you’re thinking, jeez, what an ugly cat, she’s got no fur. Even owners gape and won’t stroke me. Dearest Nellie, I hope you can help me, I’m at my wits end, I’ve got no friends and I get cold.

I heard about you and your agony angels from the dustbin cat, she stayed behind when I got bullied down by the bins. I only went there to see if I could make a friend. The usual thing happened – I tried my best to talk and join in, but when all those cats saw me they started laughing and rolling on the floor, you know, those loud bellyache laughs that get to you and make you cry.

I cried lots Nellie, lots and lots, but only when those horrible cats couldn’t see me cry…

Continue reading