Hammy From Norfolk’s Stinky Cabbages…
Dear Nellie Cat,
You’re a cat, you tell me how I keep my neighbour’s three moggies out of my cabbages. Next door’s cats are in my garden all the time, shitting and pissing all over the place making it stink, they’re killing my green beans. I’m no lover of cats or those dogs, I’ve been putting up with this for nearly ten years, countless times I’ve argued with my neighbours but he’s seven-foot four and I’m only a bit over five foot. My wife says I’m paranoid, because all day I’m staring out our window waiting for those moggies to appear amongst my lettuces – and sure enough there they are.
So you tell me, what’s the best way to stop those cats killing my carrots.